Get Off My Cabbage!

Full-Lengths

By: L. Don Swartz
Cast: 2 M, 2 F
Performance Time: Approximately 60-75 mins,

COMEDY. In this hilarious sequel to Regrets Only, cranky curmudgeons Lottie and Bernice are back and they are grumpier than ever! This time they are lounging on Lottie’s front porch selling cabbages and passing the time reading newspaper obituaries, spying on their neighbors with binoculars, analyzing Anna Skupka’s butt lift, wondering if the local peeping Tom will stop by to see their underpants, and flinging doggie doo-doo at a passerby. Meanwhile, Hal and Sal, who are now working as house painters, are sitting on the porch of an abandoned home next door eating lunch and arguing whether Sal has a thing for Brad Pitt, lamenting the dangers of can lids, and discussing the merits of deli meat, cow tongue sandwiches, and colonoscopies. There’re plenty of cabbages, curmudgeons, and crazies in this side-splitting play!

Freeviews: To read play excerpts click here.

L. Don Swartz is an award-winning playwright whose plays have been performed nationally and internationally. Mr. Swartz has served as the artistic director of the Starry Night Theatre, North Tonawanda, NY, since 1982 and has directed more than 150 productions. He lives in Wheatfield, NY, with his wife, Debby, and their four children, Emily, Rosie, DJ, and Mikey.